We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
