It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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