I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
