My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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