So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
