yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
