oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
