You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
