How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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