I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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