does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
