i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
