Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
