you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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