Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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