You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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