Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
