Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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