In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
