I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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