After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
