you traded sex for a burrito?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
