Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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