So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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