He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
