You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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