You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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