We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
