And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
