How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
