physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
