you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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