i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My vagina is officially offended.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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