Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
