The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
