I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she looked like the before picture.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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