Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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