Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
