i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
