I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
