he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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