Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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