those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
