Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
