If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
