Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
