Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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