Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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