I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
