So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
