You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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