i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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