And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
