I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
