just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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